it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize
