Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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