ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Randomize
