The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
