his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
