I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
