like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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