two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
