you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
