A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
