You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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