Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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