i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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