I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
