dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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