So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Randomize
