Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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