I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
