they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
