she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
