I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
