I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
