Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
