the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
