What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
