hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
