I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
