you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
