She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
