Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
