I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
