we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
