Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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