WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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