come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
