is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
