dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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