cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Someone shit on the floor
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
