I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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