I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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