Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
