I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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