# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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