Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just invented taco cereal.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
