Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Randomize
