i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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