I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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