it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
