is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
