i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Randomize
