Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
