swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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