NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
