they need to just BURY HIM!
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
