yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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